This is an ideal I bring to my life day after day in a constant search for happiness and effort to become a more beautiful soul…
Spring has finally arrived. Time for re-birth and flourish!
Nikki Mendell | 3WCircle Marketing Director
When looking for a loving relationship, beware of the danger of inertia. When we face a disappointment or hurdle, it may be tempting to shut down. After a bad date, a fight, or a breakup, you might crawl into bed, grab a pint of ice cream, and dive into a House of Cards marathon. You may spend all of your time blaming him for how he failed you. You may get discouraged after drinks with another weirdo. That is inertia.
This week in our most recent 3WCircleWorkshop, “The Magic Behind Real Loving Relationships (With Yourself and Others),” Donnalynn Civello, Executive Director of Ethereal Wellness and Certified Intuitive Life Coach, taught us that instead of letting hard situations set you back, you have to find a way to keep moving forward.
The group of women at the workshop, both in and seeking relationships, learned the how living a dynamic life leads to healthy relationships. Think of it like this: You get what you give.
Here are a few of Donnalynn’s key rules to having a healthy, loving relationship:
Key Rule #1: Learn to love yourself first. Learn what makes you awesome and what you love about yourself – Are you a great listener? Do you always remember your recyclable grocery bag? Have you perfected your Warrior III pose? There are so many reasons to love yourself and it is important to recognize them. If you don’t love you, how will someone else love you?
If you have fallen prey to inertia, you may be stuck sending that negative energy into the world. Negative energy doesn’t attract anyone (or at least anyone you want to spend the rest of you life with). Remember that each bad relationship is a lesson, and after the lesson comes the work: analyzing what went wrong, why it went wrong, and how you will change.
Key Rule #2: If you don’t change after a lesson, you will attract the same problems.Nobody is perfect, and no matter how much work you’ve done on self-improvement or self-love, there is always more work to be done. “You will be tested.” If you keep moving forward on your life journey and striving for positivity you are more likely to pass the test. Remember, Donnalynn says: “Sometimes a failed relationship can be the best thing to ever happen to you.”
Key Rule #3: If it doesn’t work out with someone, it wasn’t supposed to. One day when the time is right – after the work and the lessons – you will find a relationship.
Ok so let’s say you’ve done the work, learned to love yourself, and finally found THE ONE. You’ve won half the battle, but now you have to keep the relationship thriving by continuing to invest in YOU throughout the the relationship.
Key Rule #4: Keep Yourself Fresh. Avoid losing yourself in a partner by focusing on your path of improvement because the same exciting qualities that made you an attractive partner in the first place will continue to keep the spark alive.
Everyone walked out of the room last night with a new goal in mind – one woman was heading off to a date with a new perspective on how to put her best self forward. Another left with a plan on how to communicate with her partner about their sex life. All agreed to follow Donnalynn’s advice to “communicate kindly, compassionately, and constructively.”
Which of Donnalynn’s key rules do you want to focus on? Are there any love rules that you abide by in your life? Tell us in the comments below.
When I was younger I was not a great fan of February 14th. I love red; I love hearts. Yet I thought this date became excessive: not because people attached originally too much relevance, but because commercials made us believe this was the big day and we would feel miserable for not having a boy-friend or someone sending us flowers (see picture 1).
Today I really like Valentine Day (see picture 2, life is beautiful). Maybe it´s because I get loving messages from my friends -both male and female-. Maybe it´s because I transcend romantic or passionate love and try to feel grateful for all those other manifestations of love: friendship, brotherhood, roomies, colleagues, neighbors, yoga-practicers… and many other human beings I often interact with at the grocery, post-office, laundry, coffee-shop.
Let´s celebrate love in all these high dimensions!
Happy Valentine to everybody, also to those of you I don´t even know!
…And just like that, after a long wait, a day like any else,
I decided to triumph, to look for the opportunities, not to wait.
I decided to see every problem as the opportunity to find a solution.
I decided to see every desert as the opportunity to find an oasis.
I decided to see every night as a mystery to solve.
I decided to see every day as a new opportunity to be happy.
That day I found that my only enemies were my own weaknesses,
That day I lost the fear of losing and I started to fear not winning,
I discovered that I was not the best and maybe never have been.
I stopped caring about who was the winner and who was the loser.
Now I care only about knowing more than yesterday.
I learned that the hard thing is to stop climbing to the top, instead of not reaching it.
I learned that the best triumph that I can have is to have the right of calling someone “my friend”.
I discovered that love is more than a feeling of being in love, “love is a philosophy of life”.
That day I stopped being a reflection of the few triumphs in my past and I started to be my own tenuous light of the present;
I learned that it does not matter if you are alight… if you are not going to illuminate another’s road.
That day I decided to change so many things…
That day I learned that dreams only exist to be made to come true
Since that day I don’t sleep to rest…
Now, I dream just for dreams.