Nikki Mendell | 3WCircle Marketing Director
When looking for a loving relationship, beware of the danger of inertia. When we face a disappointment or hurdle, it may be tempting to shut down. After a bad date, a fight, or a breakup, you might crawl into bed, grab a pint of ice cream, and dive into a House of Cards marathon. You may spend all of your time blaming him for how he failed you. You may get discouraged after drinks with another weirdo. That is inertia.
This week in our most recent 3WCircleWorkshop, “The Magic Behind Real Loving Relationships (With Yourself and Others),” Donnalynn Civello, Executive Director of Ethereal Wellness and Certified Intuitive Life Coach, taught us that instead of letting hard situations set you back, you have to find a way to keep moving forward.
The group of women at the workshop, both in and seeking relationships, learned the how living a dynamic life leads to healthy relationships. Think of it like this: You get what you give.
Here are a few of Donnalynn’s key rules to having a healthy, loving relationship:
Key Rule #1: Learn to love yourself first. Learn what makes you awesome and what you love about yourself – Are you a great listener? Do you always remember your recyclable grocery bag? Have you perfected your Warrior III pose? There are so many reasons to love yourself and it is important to recognize them. If you don’t love you, how will someone else love you?
If you have fallen prey to inertia, you may be stuck sending that negative energy into the world. Negative energy doesn’t attract anyone (or at least anyone you want to spend the rest of you life with). Remember that each bad relationship is a lesson, and after the lesson comes the work: analyzing what went wrong, why it went wrong, and how you will change.
Key Rule #2: If you don’t change after a lesson, you will attract the same problems.Nobody is perfect, and no matter how much work you’ve done on self-improvement or self-love, there is always more work to be done. “You will be tested.” If you keep moving forward on your life journey and striving for positivity you are more likely to pass the test. Remember, Donnalynn says: “Sometimes a failed relationship can be the best thing to ever happen to you.”
Key Rule #3: If it doesn’t work out with someone, it wasn’t supposed to. One day when the time is right – after the work and the lessons – you will find a relationship.
Ok so let’s say you’ve done the work, learned to love yourself, and finally found THE ONE. You’ve won half the battle, but now you have to keep the relationship thriving by continuing to invest in YOU throughout the the relationship.
Key Rule #4: Keep Yourself Fresh. Avoid losing yourself in a partner by focusing on your path of improvement because the same exciting qualities that made you an attractive partner in the first place will continue to keep the spark alive.
Everyone walked out of the room last night with a new goal in mind – one woman was heading off to a date with a new perspective on how to put her best self forward. Another left with a plan on how to communicate with her partner about their sex life. All agreed to follow Donnalynn’s advice to “communicate kindly, compassionately, and constructively.”
Which of Donnalynn’s key rules do you want to focus on? Are there any love rules that you abide by in your life? Tell us in the comments below.